“Lies I Never Meant to Tell”

Published in Apocrypha and Abstractions Vol. 3 (May 2013).

Lies I Never Meant to Tell

I won’t throw rocks at cars or my brothers, not even small ones that won’t really hurt; I’ll try not to cry on the playground when the other boys call me names; After dinner I’ll finish my math homework; Don’t worry, my new khakis won’t get dirty; I promise not to eat any of the cookies that are for the church social; We’ll always be friends; I’ll never interrupt class again; No matter what the popular kids do, I won’t ever start smoking; And if it’s a R-rated movie, I’ll call you right away to come pick me up; He and I just like hanging out together, nothing more; I’ll be home by nine; Of course I’ll bring home any boys I’m interested in dating; Be right back; Look, it doesn’t matter if my door is shut anyway, because we’re not going to do anything; I promise to be extra careful driving at night; I swear never to come on to him – I know how much he means to you; But this time, I mean it; I hate the taste of beer; I love you; No, you look great, really; I’ll do anything if you just give me a passing grade; I will never drink and drive; All I can say is, I mean it when I say it will never happen again, especially not with him; Pleased to meet you; I’ll bring him home safe, Mr. Fischer; I don’t know how it happened, Officer; Okay, I forgot where I put your t-shirt, but I’ll find it for you later; I still love you; I have to go – I’ll explain it another time; Look, I’m sorry, but really, none of it is my fault.

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